Nanna

Nanna,

You know that i wont prefix dear right? We are not exactly that kind of daughter and father is it? And don't worry this is not going to be a teary eyed sob story, You don't like anybody crying and you wont even believe in crying right?. See nanna i am not crying, I just want to say some things that i did not get time to say when you are available or just a phone call away from me. Now i am trying to post a letter to the places unknown, And i even don't know why the *!@# i am writing this shit. May be i am long due for a terrace conversation nanna. Do you remember this when you shouted at me and i got fever and everyone blamed you , How old i am at that time 5 or 6. And my love for your right hand as my pillow , I did not get a chance to use a real pillow until 12 or 13? . I still remember the sweets you brought from very far( Why the hell i am not bothered to ask the city name) Why those sweets are so sweet nanna.

I remember you coming very late to home everyday, with lot of money wrapped in towel Are nt you scared about that. I remember the cycle rides , me and sravanthi counting all the lghtning bugs passed, And you bullshitting all the stories about ghosts, I still don't afraid of that kind of stories nanna . I remember the big storm and one of nanamma's house wall destroyed and you taking me to ammumma place. I remember the time i told you somebody else took my pen , and you creating a big scene in school, you did not even ask my explanation when that pen was found in my bag.

Why nanna? Remember the time you want to sit when Janaganamana is playing, me creating a big scene as true patriotic. And when school head master commented on my singing capabilities i remember you also joining him, Are dads supposed to tease their daughters?

I remember you not coming to any school functions, I remember you not accompanying to any Inter school competitions , But i remember fighting for more money for those tours and me giving you a candy after every trip. Why it seems very normal to me when the rest of world differs.

I remember you asking me to take tickets where every dad is not even allowing to talk to strangers, Your reason is ladies queue is smaller . Why you made things so simple nanna without so much drama or fuss.

Me telling you about the boys, and you advising me about them and let me remind you, you are too bad in that :) According to you every boy is bad enough not even to be frnds with , But how come i ended with only boys as frnds.

Do you remember when i need to attend EAMCET counseling , and you are in some remote place working, without any phones or communication, Do you know nobody slept peacefully that night except me , And you wake me up in the morning , and you finished your bath and brkfast in 10 mins :) . In that counseling you did not force me to take any college or group. Do you remember the look on the next guy, when i joked about i will choose the college based on head and tails. How do you know that 17 year old stupid girl is matured enough to take a decision about her career.

And why you did not comment anything when i want to join in another college in the next year.

Why nanna why you let me take all the decisions, Are you preparing me for this moment.And you supported me in your own way for my biggest decision. Now when i look back i don't know what i did for you. You know i am planning a gift on this father's gift and you are so cruel to left me on that day. You know what ma is calling you. Selfish, Yes you left us all alone in this shitty world.

And i remember my promise and will fulfill it . You just watch. You know I am so mad at you .

--Swathi